Following is the Lord’s Prayer (Our Father) from Matthew 6, along with my comments on it for the CEB translation team. I have boldfaced the words in question in the translation; my comments are in italics. Your comments on the translation or my comments are welcome.
9 Pray like this:
Our Father who is in heaven;
wrong meaning (permissive) for most current English speakers; “may” is better since it communicates a wish/desire
your name be holy.
10 Let your kingdom come;
let what you will
be done on earth as it’s done in heaven.
11 Give us the bread we need for today.
12 And forgive us the things we should have done but didn’t,
I don’t think this will be accepted by your intended audience, especially those which follow a liturgy. I suggest simply “our sins”
just as we also forgive those who don’t treat us as they should.
who sin against us
13 And don’t bring us to the place
It’s more than just a location which “the place,” communicates to most current speakers. A synonym which isn’t limited to geography would be “the point.” But I suspect you may need to stay closer to some traditional wording here, for acceptability, such as simply “temptation” then delete from here to the end of the sentence.
where we will be tempted,
but rescue us from the evil one.
You will, of course, need a footnote here to indicate that some mss. include “For the kingdom and the power and the glory are yours” so that those who recite the KJV wording in liturgy will not feel that you have left out the ending.