Introducing Crumpe Bible Paraphrasers

In some parts of the blogosphere it is always April 1st, but not among the Beaker Folk of Husborne Crawley. Their Archdruid Eileen has taken on the serious subject of Yet more Bible Translations, in a post which introduces the world to Crumpe Bible Paraphrasers,

named in honour of the man who pointed out the flaws in Wycliffe’s views.

This new society, led by a certain Grafton Underwood, has the inspiring vision that

we will not rest until we have a version of the Bible for every socio-demographic group in the Western World. …

So make sure your next purchase is from Crumpe’s. A Bible written specially for you. Dedicated to your problems. And meeting your needs, in your way.

Perhaps they would like to take on the task of translating and publishing the revolutionary biblical texts found on the lead books discovered supposedly in Jordan.

CBP is apparently named after Henry Crumpe. But it sounds like he ended up accepting Wycliffe’s views. I hope Wycliffe Bible Translators and its partners don’t treat this new society as an enemy, but welcome it into the Forum of Bible Agencies.

Thanks to Eddie Arthur for the link.

4 thoughts on “Introducing Crumpe Bible Paraphrasers

  1. Dru Brooke-Taylor says:

    I like it. Presumably ones personalised bible comes with a frontispiece with ones face photoshopped into an illustration of the Last Supper, and for an extra fee, ones name included in the lists of the disciples.

    Can one also select the slant of the personalised bible, so that the commandments leave out those one is tempted to commit, but Leviticus includes an admonition to ones neighbours not to plant leylandia along ones boundary line or so that they put ones garden into shade?

  2. Peter Kirk says:

    Dru, I’m sure CBP will accommodate your every translational wish in exchange for a suitable modest tax-deductible (or gift aided) donation.

  3. Dru Brooke-Taylor says:

    Alas, no. I hadn’t seen Drayton’s first series, but I ‘devoutly’ wish I had.

    Does the ‘As I remember it Bible’ include ‘Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition’? ‘Footsteps’? ‘I vow to thee my country’, but only verse 1?

    Perhaps the wonders of cyber-science can read peoples’ thoughts and enable each person’s copy to include whatever they want – automatically, before they even know they are looking for it.

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